was only a matter of time before the teens of today (boys of the
nadsat), bored with their petty theft and criminal mischief, got tired
of silly games like butt chugging and Neknomination and began searching
in earnest for something to entertain themselves with that would be both
disgusting and completely pointless. And so, Bubbling was born to
satisfy that need. And teens saw that it was good! And the summer of
2014 became the summer that they would start pissing into their own
mouths and posting the pictures online. Because who cares about future
employment? Certainly not the boys who are shooting their urine into
their own mouths, smelling and tasting the asparagus they had for dinner.
Bubbling,
which is literally just peeing into your own mouth (no, that's really
it) was originally a fake trend started by Australian skaters that has
now become very real. It began with a picture of a young man at a rock
concert; a young man (I assume) so overtaken with the music he was
listening to that he had no choice but to whip out his garden hose and
start peeing into his own mouth as a self-soothing strategy for all the
feelings he was experiencing. I understand this. Not the peeing into
one's own mouth thing (because I am often dehydrated :/) but being so
overcome with emotion that you have to do something crazy in the moment.
For me, it was when the Gilmore Girls ended. Except instead of
peeing into my own mouth I clutched a decorative throw pillow and cried
about the fact that I would never again visit Stars Hollow for the
first time. The people who saw the first instance of bubbling, by the
way, were maybe not as enthused as the young man in question.
"this dude straight up pissed into his own mouth in the middle of the mosh pit".Disgusting and confusing
"It
went everywhere," the witness, Adon1kam, continued. "All down his shirt
and in his hair, he seriously went for for like a solid minute. It was
feral. And yes he just went on like nothing happened afterwards, it was
one of the funniest/strangest/most disgusting and confusing things I've
ever seen in my life."
appear to be good ways to describe the trend, which some sources are
reporting as completely fake. In fact, the first known mention of the
bubbling phenomenon was mentioned in Vice by Australian skater Troy
West, who says that the practice is so common in Australia that it's
passed on from generation to generation like a precious heirloom. West
told Vice that his father taught him how to bubble (I have the insane urge to scream "teach me how to bubble,
teach me teach me how to bubble" to my empty living room as I write
this) and if this logic holds, West may one day teach his own son the
art of bubbling. My own father tried to teach me how to play soccer, but
gave up when he realized that my body type was meant for video games,
not sports played on grassy fields. Perhaps bubbling could have made our
relationship stronger, less strained.
Even if West is just
courting controversy with his statements, bubbling has gotten one
high-profile athlete in trouble. Todd Carney, a Rugby league player, was
fired after photos of him pissing into his own mouth surfaced on the
internet. While Carney claims he was just "mucking around" with "his
boys" and not promoting the practice of bubbling, Regardless, his firing
has inspired teen boys everywhere (who follow Rugby) to start pissing
in their own mouths and posting the photos to internet groups with names
such as Piss In Your Mouth For Todd Carney, which only features two photos, but is apparently only one of the groups that Facebook has been yanking down as soon as they come up.
The
fact that teen boys are doing something stupid in support of an athlete
is understandable, but if bubbling exists outside of this futile
Facebook protest, it raises the question of what's the point? If
fathers really are passing the secret knowledge of turning yourself
into a gurgling water fountain down to their sons, is there any point to
it other than being gross and asserting some kind of feral masculinity?
Bear Grylls drank urine and ate fecal matter to survive, but what's the
point if there's nothing at stake. And why urine specifically? Why
aren't men, as a colleague pointed out, eating their own fecal matter or
sucking on used tampons? These things are just as shocking and messy as
urine. (or maybe less messy, as the witness account above points out,
as urine will get everywhere: on you, your friends, and innocent
bystanders.)
The point of teen fads (POGS4LYFE) is that they're
supposed to be fun, get you high (in some way or another) for at least a
second and make the olds feel just a little nostalgic for the fleeting
gem that was their youth. This fad accomplishes none of those things and
fails as a trend, fake or otherwise. Unless, and I am being cautiously
optimistic here, this act helps those teens who may be into water sports
discover a part of their sexuality that they've been repressing. In
that case, more power to you! Godspeed!
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