Charlie Sheen Finally Finds A Porn Star He Doesn't Like

It’s been well documented that there’s nothing Charlie Sheen loves more than a porn star who’s half his age. Teen Mom Farrah Abraham ticks both of these boxes nicely, with the added bonus that she’s recently revealed she’s gone under the knife to increase the size of her bazookas. It’s a match made in heaven, right?

Not according to Charlie, it’s not. According to a letter to Farrah obtained by TMZ, Charlie thinks the 22-year old mother and ‘backdoor’ aficionado is a “desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua”. If Farrah was looking for a quote to put on the front of her sex tape’s cover, she might have found it.

This eloquent attack wasn’t completely unprovoked, as Farrah has apparently been texting Charlie for days trying to set up a date, suggesting everything from coffee and  a playdate with their kids to a porn star’s birthday party. That’s the glamorous life, eh?

The screenshots of these texts mysteriously found their way to TMZ – no prizes for guessing how – and Mr Anger Management was not pleased with this.

hey, you desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua;

 I truly do not recall giving you permission to globally reveal any communication between us. congrats on surviving your lobotomy and an even bigger congratz on the recent attempt at porn.

 your daughter must be so proud.

please send my number to middle earth and if allowed, eagerly follow it into said abyss and slam the door behind you. the world will collectively sigh as the pungent memory of you vanishes into the pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life.

oh and I’m sure they’ll wave the cover charge when they see your tranny-boobs and five o’clock shadow.

bye!

cs.

It’s like Oscar Wilde has been reborn as a washed-up sitcom star. Farrah originally reached out to Sheen to try and bag a role on Anger Management, although anyone that was brave enough to watch ‘Back Door Superstar’ will know that she’s no Meryl Streep in that department. Not that that’s the biggest obstacle standing in the way of Farrah’s acting dreams – having the star believe that you are a  lobotomy patient who’s disappeared into middle earth is probably a pretty big hindrance too.

Charlie Sheen -- Count Me in for 'American Idol' ... BUT ONLY IF ...

via tmz.com

Charlie Sheen tells TMZ, he's 100% on board to judge the next season of "American Idol" -- but there are several conditions that must be met before he signs the dotted line.

As TMZ first reported, "Idol" Executive Producer Nigel Lythgoe told us he would LOVE to have Charlie Sheen and Jerry Lewis as judges for season 12. Nigel would not say if he was joking ... but he repeated his wish list several times during the conversation.

CONDITION #1. Charlie says FX -- the network that airs his show "Anger Management" -- must sign off on an "Idol" deal ... but Jennifer Lopez proved, being on A.I. can be good for business.

CONDITION #2. Charlie says the money has to be right: "If the numbers move the needle AND 'Idol' matches 20% of my weekly salary for Autism Speaks, JDRF, and the Boys and Girls Club ... then the hell with it. As we say, pour the smoke."

That's Charlie-speak for "Why the hell not?"

As for Jerry Lewis, he's in Nashville directing a stage play of "The Nutty Professor" and was not available for comment.

Sheen, Warner Bros. near deal on Men lawsuit

via reuters.com

Charlie Sheen and Warner Bros are close to a settlement on the actor's $100 million lawsuit against the studio over his firing from "Two and a Half Men," a source with knowledge of the situation said on Monday.

Sheen, who has been sounding contrite in recent days regarding his troubles with the makers of his old television show, sued Warner Bros in Los Angeles Superior Court in March and the case has been in arbitration.

A Warner Bros. spokesman said no final deal has been reached and declined to comment further. Sheen's lawyer was not immediately available to comment.

Sheen was the highest-paid actor on U.S. television for the role of womanizing bachelor Charlie Harper. But he was fired after several trips to rehab and for publicly insulting creator Chuck Lorre and makers Warner Bros. Television.

In the months afterward, Sheen posted videos in which he claimed he was always winning while others were losing, boasted he had "tiger blood" and toured a live show called "My Torpedo of Truth: Defeat is Not an Option." The show met with mixed results.

But in the last few days, he seems to be on a tour of contrition, culminating in his appearance at Sunday night's Emmy Awards, U.S. TV's top honors.

"From the bottom of my heart, I wish you nothing but the best for this upcoming season," he said, addressing the cast and creators of the revamped comedy in front of a TV audience of more than 12 million people. "We spent eight wonderful years together, and I know you will continue to make great television."

Sheen told "Today" show host Matt Lauer last week that he regrets claiming he had "tiger blood" and "Adonis DNA," calling them jokes and metaphors that he never really believed. He told Jay Leno that he would have fired himself, given his behavior.

The reports of a settlement came hours before the premiere on Monday of "Two and A Half Men" starring newcomer Ashton Kutcher, and a Comedy Central roast of Sheen.

The case is Sheen et al v. Lorre et al, Los Angeles Superior Court, No. SC111794.

For Sheen: Martin Singer of Lavely & Singer.

For Lorre et al: Kinsella Weitzman Iser Kump & Aldisert.

Charlie Sheen's Bid For Custody Of His Kids Rejected

Embattled actor Charlie Sheen's bid for full custody of the twins he shares with Brooke Mueller has been rejected.

The star appeared in court on Tuesday seeking a change in the custody settlement he made with his estranged wife in March, however a Los Angeles County judge ruled the agreement will remain unchanged, reports TMZ.com.

The Two And A Half Men star is now in a race against time - Sheen faces a mad dash across country if he's going to make it to Washington, D.C. for the latest stop on his much-maligned My Violent Torpedo of Truth tour.

Pundits expected Sheen to be a no-show at the court date on Tuesday morning, but the troubled actor met estranged wife Brooke Mueller there in the latest round of their ongoing battle over custody of their twin sons.

Now, he faces a race against time if he is to hit the stage at the DAR Constitution Hall for the latest theater tour stop. Staff at the venue tell TMZ.com they have not been told the show has been cancelled.

The website reports Sheen left the courtroom just before 11am on Tuesday. He now faces a four hour flight and a three hour time change. He is due onstage at 8pm.

 

 

Click for more great Charlie Sheen pictures:

 

 

via starpulse.com

 

Did Charlie Sheen Invite Chuck Lorre On Stage to Kiss and Make Up?

via popeater.com

Charlie Sheen brought his 'Torpedo of Truth' tour to New York City, headlining Radio City Music Hall on Friday. The warlock continued his trend of wearing the sports gear of each town he visits, this time donning a Yankees shirt and cap. Despite the cloying costume, EW.com reports that it took less than 20 minutes for the crowd to turn on him and his rambling, "sit-down comedy" storytelling format.

So are hecklers and harsh reviews finally humbling Sheen? Not very long ago, he was slamming 'Two and a Half Men' and co-creator Chuck Lorre so severely that CBS (who'd long ignored Sheen's string of drug and violence scandals) yanked the hit sitcom and fired the ungrateful star. Now, committed to a grinding schedule of live tour stops across the U.S., Sheen may be having a delayed reaction to the mess he's made of his career: contrition.

"Of course I want my job back, man!" he told the Radio City crowd, adding "You guys want me to have my job back, right?...So you guys can keep enjoying the greatest sitcom ever, right?" According to the Hollywood Reporter, he even invited Chuck Lorre to join him onstage to talk things out. Sheen, you may recall, filed suit against Lorre in March for $100 million.

However, the 'Two and Half Men' team that Sheen so violently torpedoed away from this year is moving on.

In fact, on the very night Sheen was being jeered at Radio City, Jon Cryer also took the stage in Manhattan, along with a star-studded cast -- including Patti LuPone, Neil Patrick Harris, Christina Hendricks and Stephen Colbert -- for a one-weekend-only (heckler-free) performance of the musical 'Company' at Avery Fisher Hall in Lincoln Center.

"The show is strictly a limited run, but Jon is happy to be back at work, and looking forward to moving on with his life," an insider tells PopEater's Rob Shuter. "You don't get better than the New York Philharmonic and [composer] Stephen Sondheim."

Alec Baldwin seems to agree. The '30 Rock' star, who recently published an open letter urging Sheen to clean up his act, was spotted at Lincoln Center (rubbing elbows with Woody Allen and John Lithgow) applauding Cryer and his 'Company' castmates on their opening night.

Charlie Sheen, CBS In 'Two And A Half Men' Return Discussions: Report

via huffingtonpost.com

Looks like "Two and a Half Men" may be whole again soon.
Without determining who represents what fraction, NBC's Jeff Rossen is reporting that, according to a source close to Sheen, two weeks after Sheen was fired from the show, the $2 million an episode man may get his job back on the biggest sitcom on television.
"Sources close to Charlie Sheen tell NBC News, CBS has offered him his job back. Discussions ongoing. Not a done deal," Rossen said via Twitter.
Of any reporter, Rossen would know; Sheen has praised the reporter who interviewed him for his multi-part NBC special report (part one and part two).
Hollywoodlife.com also reports that discussions are ongoing. A show insider told the site, "The rumors are true -- CBS wants Charlie back. They saw how popular his tour has become, how it has been selling out, and when word spread that he started talking to Fox about a late-night show, some decision-makers got a little antsy."
There's an 80% chance that Sheen returns, the source told the site.

Make your Internet Charlie Sheen-Free in One Easy Step - Techland

Tinted Sheen, a plug-in that calls itself "the Charlie Sheen Browser Blocker," literally removes Charlie Sheen from your sight, blocking out mentions of his name, as well as images of the troubled actor. It's adapted from the similar "Shaved Bieber" plug-in that helped cure outbreaks of (Justin) Bieber Fever recently, but this time, using its powers for even more good. It's available for free here. Share the link with your friends, and spare the needless drinking of tiger blood Read more: http://techland.time.com/2011/03/09/make-your-internet-charlie-sheen-free-in-...

Charlie Sheen sparks new era of cyber celebrity meltdowns

(Reuters) - Tracking celebrities in trouble used to be so easy. First, there was the problem, then a public apology followed by a trip to rehab and interview in People magazine or on Oprah Winfrey's talk show.

Now, there's Charlie Sheen.

The actor's eerie, self-made webcasts dubbed "Sheen's Korner," posted online this week to mock his former "Two and a Half Men" bosses and defend himself, mark celebrity behavior that has gone beyond the norm. And his Web rants may signal a future in which stars use the Internet to give fans unfettered access to their antics, for better or worse.

"Since YouTube, digital culture has aided and enhanced -- or maybe the better word is abetted -- the celebrity meltdown," said Wired magazine senior editor Nancy Miller. "This will be a future where we see celebrity screw-ups happen in real-time."

Sheen's expletive-filled webcasts show him agitated, smoking cigarettes through his nose, spewing energetic rants and repeating the same phrases over and over. Even celebrity website TMZ, which is known for publishing videos of outrageous celebrity antics, labeled Sheen's videos "disturbing."

His behavior contrasts to pop star Britney Spears' when she suffered her career meltdown in 2007 and 2008. At that time, most of her antics were detailed the traditional way, by the paparazzi. She eventually found treatment, had her affairs taken over by her father and got her life back on track.

Sheen has done just the opposite, making decisions on everything that goes on around him and pouring out his unchecked views to fans via online videos and tweets.

"The more out-of-control the situation has become, the more he has broadcast himself -- literally streaming his opinions, views and rants," said People magazine assistant editor Kate Coyne, adding Sheen has invited people to watch his apparent breakdown "as it occurs, which is unprecedented."

"WINNING" ONLINE?

Yet, while it may seem bizarre to some, his behavior has proven popular. The 45-year-old has gained more than 2 million Twitter followers. His buzzwords such as "winning" and boasts of possessing "tiger blood" are rapidly invading pop culture.

His erratic webcasts -- which appeared filmed with his own phone -- were viewed more than 700,000 times, and his name has been linked to products ranging from soft drinks to comic books. To some, Sheen is still the rebellious Hollywood hero.

He has "created a new genre of 'meltdown-as-miniseries' that will inspire others to emulate him," said Robert Thompson, a Syracuse University professor of popular culture. "We seldom hear human beings talk like this, especially not human beings we all know through their on-screen work," he said.

Indeed, an old rule among the star-making machinery of publicists, talent managers and other celebrity handlers has been to keep clients' personal lives private for fear they might jeopardize public images and lead to fewer job offers.

But as technology gets easier to use and performers find it simple to post self-made videos and connect directly to fans, publicists may find them harder to control.

It may seem that, so far, Sheen's antics have only added to his fame, but some Hollywood watchers are saying the actor has reached the point where he crossed into infamy.

Charlie Sheen 'goddess' appears in court

via today.msnbc.msn.com

One of actor Charlie Sheen's so-called "goddesses" has appeared in an Indiana court in a drunk driving case. Rachel Oberlin was in Allen Superior Court in Fort Wayne on Tuesday. The 24-year-old performed in adult films under the name Bree Olson.

Duh! Sheen sayings to be slapped on everything

The actor has inked a merchandising and licensing deal with concert behemoth Live Nation that one day may yield a live show, but first will be putting everybody's new favorite sayings — plus a new classic, "Unemployed Winner" — on mugs, T-shirts and anything else you can slap a slogan on, E! News has exclusively learned.
No wonder Sheen was in such a good mood earlier, despite being canned!

via today.msnbc.msn.com

Sheen on ‘Men’: I didn’t like that show anyway

In a statement issued to NBC’s Jeff Rossen, which aired Tuesday morning on TODAY, Sheen seemed to be happy about his recent termination, claiming, “I didn’t like that show anyway or those dumb bowling shirts they made me wear. Now I’m free.”

via today.msnbc.msn.com

Without 'Men,' is Charlie Sheen winning or losing?

Consider two parallel universes: Charlie Sheen is destined to hit rock bottom after being fired from the best job he'll ever have; Charlie Sheen has been freed to blaze a new path to dazzling fame and riches.
Speculation about the dueling scenarios swelled after Warner Bros. Television said Monday that Sheen's services on "Two and a Half Men" had been terminated, effective immediately, following "careful consideration."
The studio said it's yet to decide the fate of TV's top-rated comedy which, under protest from Sheen, halted production for the season to allow the hard-partying actor to seek treatment for admitted drug use.
During his bitter tug-of-war with the studio, attention focused on whether he was on the verge of killing his career. Imperiling a hit show and a job that paid a reported $1.8 million an episode - or earning him north of $43 million a year - must be Sheen's undoing, observers said.
Not so fast, say others.
"At this point, all bets are off regarding where his career goes from here," said Paul Levinson, a Fordham University media professor. "Although nothing is certain where fame and celebrity are concerned, Sheen's ubiquity in the past few weeks suggest that he could indeed go on to become a bigger superstar than (the sitcom) could ever had made him."
Opportunity already may have come knocking.

via apnews.excite.com

Ready for One and a Half Men? Charlie Sheen Finally, Officially Fired!

Greg Gayne/Warner Bros

Quick, someone get John Stamos on the phone.
After months of increasingly erratic behavior and a weeklong assault on both logic and the media, Charlie Sheen's tiger blood was no match for his network's patience, with the studio behind Two and a Half Men finally, officially firing Sheen from the show.
Uh-oh. Is someone in danger of #LOSING?!
MORE: Talk about great timing—Charlie's got another show on HDNet!
"After careful consideration, Warner Bros. Television has terminated Charlie Sheen's services on Two and a Half Men effective immediately," the studio said in their one-line statement on the matter.
Sheen wasted no time in responding.
"This is very good news," he told TMZ. "They continue to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of the bazillions, never have to look at whatshiscock again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension."
Got all that? Good.
The letter was delivered to Sheen just today informing the actor of his immediate and unsurprising termination from the series, despite the fact that Sheen had one year left on his contract. What with him being a man of his word and all, over the past week, Sheen had routinely vowed to be more than willing to fulfill that final year—and possibly more.
Unfortunately, in many of the same breaths, he also told the nation that while he was willing to go back to work, he would only do so if the studio gave him a $1 million raise, bringing his total payment per episode up to a hefty $3 million.
Which couldn't have helped his bargaining abilities. Then again, neither could his lengthy attack on showrunner Chuck Lorre. Or his insistence on being a Vatican warlock assassin. Or his blind belief that he's in a constant state of #WINNING. Or…you get the point.
Guess this means there'll be more where Sheen's Korner came from.
VIDEO: Is this the interview that did Charlie in?

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via eonline.com

Warner Bros. fires Charlie Sheen

Warner Bros. fires Charlie Sheen

He's not "winning" anymore: Charlie Sheen has been fired from his starring role in Two and a Half Men, two weeks after the actor unleashed a torrent of venom aimed at his employers and especially the show's producer Chuck Lorre in a series of rambling, sometimes incoherent interviews.
"After careful consideration, Warner Bros. Television has terminated Charlie Sheen's services on Two and a Half Men effective immediately," the studio said in a brief statement. A spokeman added that no decision has been made on the future of the series, which abruptly wrapped up its eighth season Feb. 14 when production was shut down after Sheen entered what turned out to be at-home rehab. The move was not unexpected, as executives at both CBS and Warner Bros. viewed Sheen's press assault as a scorched-earth move that made a reconciliation difficult.
Attention now moves to whether he'll be replaced and if the show will enter a ninth season, which has already been sold into syndication, giving Warner Bros. a big financial incentive to continue, at least until May 2012. John Stamos, who's recently appeared on Glee, was approached by CBS chief Leslie Moonves at a pre-Oscar party to gauge his interest, though the encounter was described by the network as "lighthearted." Sheen himself extended the life of ABC's 1990s sitcom Spin City by essentially replacing Michael J. Fox as its star when Fox quit due to his Parkinson's disease. That role led to his casting soon after on Two and a Half Men, which eerily echoed Sheen's real-life persona as a womanizing partier.
If TV's top-rated comedy does not continue, that will leave a hole in CBS' solid Monday night sitcom block, though lead-off hitter How I Met Your Mother was renewed Monday for two more seasons. But a strong possibility is that Lorre's hit The Big Bang Theory, moved to Thursdays last fall, could claim Men's Monday berth.

Warner Bros. To Charlie: Here's Why You're Fired

In the 11-page letter, obtained from sources connected to Charlie, Warner Bros. states, "Your client has been engaged in dangerously self-destructive conduct and appears to be very ill."

The letter then goes on to describe Charlie's hijinks, including trashing the Plaza Hotel in NYC, coke binges, on-set failures because of drug fatigue, and diatribes against "Two and a Half Men" creator Chuck Lorre.

The letter also notes that Charlie derailed production when he went into rehab, and then he fired his sobriety coach.  In fact, Warner Bros. claims it was so concerned about Charlie's well-being, "Warner Bros. had an airplane waiting" to take him to a treatment facility ... but Charlie would have none of it.

As for why Charlie got fired, the letter says there is a clause in his contract saying they can fire a performer who commits "a felony offense involving moral turpitude."

The letter says, "There is ample evidence supporting Warner Bros. reasonable good faith opinion that Mr. Sheen has committed felony offenses involving moral turpitude (including but not limited to furnishing of cocaine to others as part of the self-destructive lifestyle he has described publicly) that have 'interfere[d] with his ability to fully and completely render all material services required' under the agreement."

In short, that's why Charlie was fired.

Charlie's lawyer, Marty Singer, has demanded Warner Bros. pay Charlie for the eight canceled episodes -- or else.


Warner Bros. seems undaunted by the threat, even reserving its right to take legal action against Charlie! Boo Hoo Charlie I guess the Boo Hooze just got out of hand!

Sean Penn says he'd welcome Sheen's help in Haiti

via msnbc.msn.com

 

Sean Penn says he thinks embattled actor Charlie Sheen could do a lot of good in Haiti, both for himself and the nation struggling to recover from a devastating earthquake. "Charlie is one of the very few public people who cannot be accused of using the media to his own benefit. I would very much like to show my old friend the world of needs on the ground in Haiti, and introduce him and his tremendous wit to our hard working Haitian staff."

Charlie Sheen's Obituary in the Works in Major Network Newsrooms?

via popeater.com

You can't prepare enough when dealing with a guy like Charlie Sheen. Following months of epic parties, hospitalizations and unabashed drug use where he was "bangin' 7-gram rocks and finishing them," major news organizations including the actor's home at CBS have begun preparing obituaries for the unraveling-before-our-eyes star

Two and a Half Men Canceled:Forever?

Two and a Half Men Canceled: War of Words Ensues:

"Chuck Lorre creator of TWO AND A HALF MEN has canceled the final four episodes of the show when Charlie Sheen when on a rant calling Lorre a “charlatan who chose not to do his job and a piece of shit, and a stupid, stupid little man.”
Sheen went on to criticize alcoholics anonymous by saying that there is only a 5 percent success rate. He also said he cured himself with “his mind” after 4 weeks of drug and alcohol treatment.

The sitcom, which had halted production during Charlie Sheen’s rehab, was scheduled to return to production next week for the taping of the final four episodes of the season. That all changed when Sheen went on a radio tirade against show’s producer, Chuck Lorre. The controversial star called Lorre a “maggot” and professed a “violent hatred” for him.

CBS released the following statement: “Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen’s statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of Two and a Half Men for the remainder of the season.”