Ke$ha
If you've ever taken a moment to listen to Ke$ha sing sans Auto-Tune, you deserve a Purple Heart for your courage.
By some random act of earthly misfortune, Ke$ha is one of most popular acts in the world. She appeared on 'American Idol' once already back in 2010, when she tortured the audience with "Blah Blah Blah" while bouncing around in a Native American headdress. Fitting justice would bring Ke$ha back to the 'American Idol' stage to have her Auto-Tune-less voice rightfully dismantled for what it is, but something tells me Nicki Minaj won't be the right person to serve as the voice of the people.
Will.i.am
The Black Eyed Peas' Will.i.am. serving as judge on a program called 'The Voice' has to be one of the most brilliant ironies in the history of pop culture.
The dude is as successful as they come and gets involved with a lion's share of winning ideas, but his voice is simply horrendous. He won't shy away from it either; in 2012, he confessed to British TV personality Alan Carr that he depends on Auto-Tune technology. Will.i.am. said, "The computer allows me to execute a lot of my ideas at the speed that I think them so that’s why I lean to the autotune."
At Will.i.am.'s stunning admission of "leaning on Auto-Tune," the entire world gasped a collective "No shit."
Chad Kroeger
Not that the world needs to ever hear notes leave Chad Kroeger's mouth for the rest of eternity, but it would be damn entertaining to hear the likes of Adam Levine and Cee-Lo blasting the Nickelback blowhard for his generic rasp in a key that never changes.
*Bonus points if Kroeger sings an original Nickelback song, so the judges rip him a new one for his unnervingly banal lyrics.
Kanye West
If there is any man in show business whose ego needs to be knocked down a few (or a million) rungs, it is Yeezy. In the past (and presumably the present), Kanye has bestowed the title of "voice of the generation" upon himself. He may have a point there: his singing voice is wholly unimpressive, and the Auto-Tune he masks it with is the music tool that has helped bastardize all popular music.
At least once in his lifetime, Kanye should have to stand and be criticized for something. (Kanye's Twitter feed in the moments after his dismantling would be reason enough to pray for this piece of karma to go down
Katy Perry has already taken the stage on 'American Idol,' but her performance has never been harshly judged by the pros while the world watches. In fact, she didn't even perform in front of the judges or the world; Perry's 2012 'American Idol' performance where she sang "Part of Me" was pre-recorded.
In a twist that was nearly ironic as the golden ticket handed to Will.i.am in being a judge on the UK version of 'The Voice,' Katy Perry was offered $20 million to serve as a judge on 'American Idol' for one year. Perry turned down the offer, saying, "it's not right for me yet." Presumably, Katy meant her career is far from washed up, and she wants to continue touring and singing. However, the possibilty remains that she's aware how bad her singing voice is, and "it's not right for" her to try and judge anybody else's vocals.
Whatever it is that Pitbull does (rap? sing? grunt?), he is successful enough with his "craft" to deem being judged by the "pros."
It's not like Pitbull is adverse to the reality TV stage. He already appeared on the Dutch 'X Factor' in 2011, and he did whatever it is he does into a microphone.It's time for him to take off those damn shades, face the judges, and listen to his fate.
Few people will ever claim that Red Foo and Sky Blu are singers, but watching LMFAO humiliate themselves on any of the wildly popular reality programs would still feel like necessary karma. Even though these two goons don't pass themselves off as singers like Chad Kroeger or Katy Perry, they still make a killing by forcing us to hear the ridiculous noises that leave their mouths.Besides, these two idiots clearly don't mind looking (or sounding) stupid in the public eye. Sing up, fellas, and let the Mariahs and Simons of the world judge you.
It's not like every one of us hasn't judged Rebecca Black already, but we are all culpable for raising the "Friday" princess to the level of bona fide pop star.
She has already performed on 'America's Got Talent,' and she sounded just about how you'd expect her to sound. It's time for her to compete and be humiliated like the rest of the 'Idol' and 'The Voice' finalists, rather than getting by in life by becoming a pop culture phenom on her parents' dime.
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