The Best Of Khia's ABCs

"Ole as Methusalem" and "EBT Card Awards" are just a few of the priceless nuggets my second favorite philosopher next to Megan Fox spat out of her finger tips in an eloquent blog post on her personal A to Zs. While Beyonce and Chris Brown sip purified beluga whale urine out of black diamond goblets on their flying Maybachs, Khia did the real work by renting out a computer at Kinko's for 2 hours to read all of them their rights! Beyonce's handlers better have a chalk eraser handy to wipe off the outline around her, because Khia pretty much destroyed her (not really).
The best of are below and I really hope to see Khia's version of the ABCs in an upcoming episode of Sesame Street. You haven't really heard the phrase "turned to the side ass pussy" until you've heard it from Elmo.

Letter A- Amber Rose: Imma show this bitch a little love cuz she from Philly bald headed and all….She cute!!!! I aint gone judge the hoe because we all know she been on a strippa pole since she was 5 years old, suckin clits since 12, and decided to TRICK and SUCK every nigga in the game and wanna be a model at 35…… Get Money Biiiiiitch!!!!! But I am gone roast at the fact that she leaked photos on the internet of that MILE loooooong, 18wheeler, turned to the SIDE ass pussy, with her DUMB ass and lost ALL of the MONEY! It didn’t work for KATRINA HARBOR and it’s NOT gonework for YOU!!!!! Someone stole your computer, someone stole her phone……Heard it all before!!!! Chile boooo…Stick to what ya know
Trickin, Strippen and Suckin dick and pussy lips…..Get Money Biiiiiitch!!!!!
Letter B- Beyonce: Fuck this hoe………Can Kelly Rowland make a little bit of MONEY???? We all seen Kelly on the EBT card awards shut that shit down and here you come making Jay Z call in all of his favors to put you on the TV screen with that TIRED, THROUGH and DELAYED performance. We ALL could have passed on that! Imma a fan, true enough but we really sick of looking at you! Give Solange a chance or give your husband Jay Z some children cuz he getting ole as Methasulem and his time is running OUT!! Who runs the world? Girls…..Girls!
Letter C- Chris Brown: Oooooooooooo Hoooooooney…… How many records you sold????Cuz the sissy’s and punks all around the world saw ALLLLLLLL your bizness With your “Who told Harpo to beat me,” Blonde hair, Dick down to ya knees….. Redirect your anger please!! Looks like another Dennis Rodman to me….. I aint the one to gossip so you aint heard it from me!
Letter K-Katrina Laverne Taylor and Kimberly Denise Jones: I done let Lil Kim have it on my single “Fix Your Face,” available on I-tunes, so we gone dedicate the letter K to Katrina Harbor, who done gave all
these niggas and bull daggers HIV, Lupus and Grave’s Disease loosing hair and weight, with eyes and thyroids bulging out of the socket! Katrina Harbor has been killing niggas and bull-daggers for a whole decade…… When is yall niggas gone tell the truth? The hood already knows dis…..Easy E aint the only one who went out with a BANG… So glad I didn’t Juuuuuump on that dirty Diiiiiiiiiiick!!!!!!!
Besides, I have already let the world know on the “Hit Er Up” diss that Katrina Harbor’s DURTY, ROTTEN and CORODED ass can’t have no babies…..Weezy aint been the same since he left your ass!!!! Aint no need to tweet about you NOT being PREG! When you don’t take your meds you shrink like a prune and when you do, you big as 2 Burger Kings!!!! Keep it real hoe!!!!!
I hear CVS has a new Minute Clinic but the problems you have with your PUSSIE pussy, you gotta go to the free CLINIC for that!!!!! Bobble Head Biiiiiiiitch!!!!!
Letter Z-Kim Zolciak: Kim you finally dropped Big Poppa like a bad habit because he couldn’t keep the rent and lights on at Shannon Mall in Union City! We all knew that you’s a gold digging, money hungary ass whore with no talent! Kandi wrote you a national hit and you couldn’t even perform it live because you were too busy trying to keep that synthetic wig in place that Derrick been sewing and stitching for years.Its funny how Kandi can write everybody else a hit…Opps, well enough of that back to the subject at hand..You finally struck gold with that young and tender football player after knowing him for only 90 days, you hit a home run with his first born son!!! Get Money Bitch………

Toss every poetry book in the library and replace them with a copy of this! I wish my life was like an episode of Herman's Head and I wish Khia was one of my emotions. Click here to read even more musings from the Shakespeare of Philadelphia.
via Crunk + Disorderly

via dlisted.com