Great, you made it down here without collapsing. George Clooney, a man notorious for being handsome and desirable for all 53 years on His Earth, is now married to a woman who most agree is better than him, Amal Alamuddin. The pair had their intimate and obsessively photographed nuptials at the Aman Canal Grande in Venice, Italy on Saturday evening. To quote People magazine, "Congratulazioni!" to the happy couple.
Pure, earnest love between a man who has malaria and a successful barrister and author will always be beautiful, but today it could never be quite as stunning or waterproof as the wedding's real stars: a mess of boats puttering about in the canals of Venezia. Molto bellissimo, Giorgio! Where'd you get dem boats?
From the beginning of the festivities, which kicked off on Friday as the happy pair arrived to Venice together, the camera focus had not been on Clooney nor Alamuddin's gorgeous heads
of sea-salty hair. The shellacked sides and low-riding bums of a few dozen boats were the real stars: a fleet of motoscafi, transporting guests from place to place, like really, it's no big deal. Figurati! Boss boats, just doing their jobs.
Celebrities of all stripes and relative popularity attending the Clooney wedding—Matt Damon, John Krasinski, Anna Wintour, Bill Murray, Cindy Crawford, a person named Bono—but not one person was able to navigate the canals in scuba gear. God bless those boats. There'd be no wedding
"I'm going to hold my camera up high so I can catch the back of this boat."
[Images via AP]